An excerpt from Bronnie Wares book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A life transformed by the dearly departing... (Source)
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their
life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how
many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even
a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to
choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings
a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard – This came from every male
patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their
partner’s companionship.
Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older
generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All
of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on
the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the
way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by
creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to
new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many
people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they
carried as a result.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people
may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking
honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and
healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship
from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until
their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down.
Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden
friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about
not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone
misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.
But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details
of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in
order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true
importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the
benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary
to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in
the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and
relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.
Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called
‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as
their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they
were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have
silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way
from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long
before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
