How to get your swagger back...

An excerpt from How I Got My Swagger Back (Source)

Confidence is everything in a start-up. People invest in confident leaders--whether they are VCs, business partners, employees, or customers. But it's a vicious cycle that we live in. Confidence leads to success, but success also leads to confidence. So when things are rocky, so is your confidence, and from there, it's a downward spiral.

You must stop the spiral and get back on track. I've found several ways to get my swagger back after the biggest blows to my confidence, and none of them involve standing in front of a mirror repeating self-affirmations. Here are a few:

Get Out of the Office

This technique works for me every time. There is an inertia that comes with staring at the numbers daily, working on the same problems and bugs over and over, and revisiting arguments and conversations with your co-workers (who are staring at the numbers and working on the same bugs). But it's not easy to leave the office, because it feels frivolous and uncertain.
Get over those feelings. It needs to be done, especially when you are the front person to an organization. I find the longer I'm away, the stronger I feel. It's not a vacation, either. I get in front of peers and potential stakeholders and show them what I'm working on and get their feedback and ideas. There are all sorts of fringe benefits to getting away from the day to day.

Focus on What Works and Stop Tinkering With What Doesn't

Think back to when you last felt your mojo rise and try to pinpoint what did it. For me, it has always been about presenting Buyosphere to audiences and groups of people. Even the negative feedback was full of positivity and hope. When I'm staring at a screen, I can't get reactions. At some point, I agreed to cut back on presenting so I could focus more time in the office. That was a big mistake. I'm working on rectifying this now, and I'm definitely getting my mojo back.

Eliminate the Naysayers and Devil's Advocates

When I first heard this advice, it was in IDEO founder Tom Kelly's amazing book, The 10 Faces of Innovation. It seemed so counterintuitive to someone who sought so much input on her ideas, but the advice was and is solid. You already have plenty of fear and self-doubt to throw you into a loop already. Surrounding yourself with people who constantly question your decisions is a sure way to lose all your confidence and conviction. And no, you shouldn't have legions of sycophants following you around, either. In my experience, people who say, "Yes, and..." leads to way more innovation than "That'll never work." Negativity can lead only to the spiral.

When I compare those start-ups that have money, users, and exits with those that struggle with all three, the major difference I see is confidence in the leadership. Confidence in the idea, the vision, and the ability to execute. You probably had confidence when you started out; otherwise, you wouldn't have made the leap. It's keeping it that is the trick. Remember what made you take the leap, and keep soldiering on.

Life is a battle...

Whether it is in business, love, or even life. There is no failure except in no longer trying.  As great works are accomplished, not by strength, but by perseverance.  History tells us that almost all great leaders have been pushed to some point of insanity.  This insanity accompanies the ideology that death, and the anxiety we call fear, is no longer an option.  It is at this brink that man realizes the simple fact that it is all or nothing.   In military strategy, while cornered and under heavy attack, there is only one option…..TO FIGHT!

"You might as well stand and fight because if you run,  you will only die tired" - Vern Jocque - Sei Shin Kan.

In a book written in 1960, by Eleanor Roosevelt, titled “You Learn By Living” , she states the following on courage;

The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live through that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' The anger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

In conclusion, through the days I have the pleasure to speak to several friends, family members, clients, and colleagues whom all face the constant dogma we call stress.  As this anxiety compounds into all of our daily agendas, we must learn to harness its energy and reflect it towards a more productive state.  Furthermore, “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins-not trough strength but by perseverance.”-Jackson Brown   

      

To be nobody but yourself...

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."  ~e.e. cummings

We all operate in two contrasting modes...

“We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode. Not that the closed mode cannot be helpful. If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies. When you charge the enemy machine-gun post, don’t waste energy trying to see the funny side of it. Do it in the “closed” mode. But the moment the action is over, try to return to the “open” mode—to open your mind again to all the feedback from our action that enables us to tell whether the action has been successful, or whether further action is need to improve on what we have done. In other words, we must return to the open mode, because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent.” -John Cleese

The act of putting pen to paper...

"The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium."- Norbet Platt

Through the years I have been blessed to have had the privilege to work in congruence with some great business moguls and I can honestly say that there is one characteristic trait that has transcended into my personal daily habitual practices. This ingrained art, would have to be the practice of writing ones daily goals, tasks, and initiatives, down on paper.

From a tactical level; this is the art of viewing the intense realism of life at the short and near term. To the strategic view; this is best known as the Generals mindset and way of thinking via calculating the future with intermediate enter and exit strategies. Writing down ones goals on paper, acts as a stepping tool towards the direction of the achievement of ones future dreams. In relation, one must be able to plan their work and work there plan. Hence, writing ones goals and tasks on paper helps compound the Law of Attraction, as your dreams are achieved via the daily application of viewing and accomplishing ones set tasks.

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On a side note, I once heard of a great quote, by none other than Bob Marley, he stated;

"I'm not trying to reach people. I am who I am. And I believe that there a lot of people out there just like me." – Bob Marley

Furthermore, as most of you know that I tend to have an abstract and hardcore style of philosophical writing. As my blogs are intended to pass down my own conceptual knowledge through the application of daily postings, I wish nothing but the best from my enemies, friends, and dear colleagues. Therefore, take these postings for what you will, as I wish and expect nothing but the best from all of you. The world is yours. Vereour Nasquam

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”--Theodore Roosevelt